Firstly insomnia is driving me barmy. I was up at 3am eating toast – and if I could have got a bag of chips I would have done. I got some sleeping tablets from the GP last week and I took one over the weekend….I still woke up during the night and I was inches away from a panic attack when I was out.
So I’ve knocked the sleeping tablets on the head. I’ve also tried lavender oil, sleep balm (which worked one night and now isn’t working), Dormeasan, Valerian, various ‘sleepy’ herbal teas and Piriton antihistamine tablets – which so far are the best.
I’m getting about one six-hour sleep a week, the other nights I’m lucky to get 3 or 4. The last full nights sleep I had was at Ange’s Cottage…maybe I need to go away more often 😉
There are so many negatives to the insomnia, I’m back to eating shite (again) so my waistline is disappearing. I’m finding it hard to function normally, although to be honest I’ve forgotten what normal is. I want to become a hermit and just shut myself away from everything.
I’m sure you are all sick of my negative writing so I’m thinking it’s time to start another blog and leave this one for the positive things ie: events, photography, stories etc. If I do start a new blog it’ll be anonymous so I can write what I want to write. The majority of my blog readers are fantastic but there are the few exceptions. The people who think they can say whatever they like. I’m not in the best place at the moment so the things that are said really do hurt. It’s amazing how with all the lovely comments it’s the negative ones that buzz around my head.
I’ve also decided I’m kind of becoming a busy fool again. Running around, championing others and forgetting about myself. If I’m not going to look after me no one else is. So I need to re-think a few things and decided what direction I’m going in. As much as I used to love the photography it’s not bringing me the joy that it once did and everyone out there is now a landscape photographer. I’m really enjoying the writing side though and these days when people contact me it’s usually about writing not photography.
I was going to bring out a Sligo 2018 calendar because I’d been asked to do one. If I’m honest for the couple of euro I make after printing costs it’s not really worth it. This year is worse, I struggled to get orders for ten and if I don’t make twenty sales it’s not going to be viable. Who said the recession is over?? Anyway if you’d like to order a calendar you can do so here.
I promise I’ll stop with the negative posts for the time being…..I’ve got so many other ideas that I’d like to pursue so I’m going to try a few other topics. Although I get a lot more readers when I’m in my negative moods! Thanks for sticking with me and allowing me to spout from the heart.
Try Menomin. It’s a vitamin capsule for peri and menopause, and I find that the quality of sleep has improved. I still wake up but can now fall back to sleep most times.
Welcome to being human ❤ When I get to busy I cant seem to sleep, its like it sets my body into hyper vigilant mode, so for me it is a struggle to find what I enjoy, but keep it in balance. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Is this time of the year any worse for you- I ended up getting a S.A.D. light, and it does help some with my mood and sleep. I have also used tablets from my Dr and sometimes they didn't work on the 1st night, and I had to use them for 3 nights to get the body/system to kick in, especially if I am hypervigilant. There was a time I also used melatonin, which helped. I seem to be ok now, but I know there will once again be times I need some help.
I also learned a long time ago, you cant please everyone, one of the places I learned this was when I would play in a band there was ALWAYS someone who didn't like a song we played etc. When we could't make them happy, it wasn't about the band, it was about them. I have found this true also in day to day life. Not everyone likes me, -I know, hard to believe- but its true. But those that love me, love me with a fierce loyalty and takes away any negatives folks have. I have also learned to delete/ unfriend/ignore those who trash me, I refuse to get into it with them and tell them," I respectfully agree that we disagree" and leave it at that, I have nothing to prove. those people that attack others- says something about them, not the person they are attacking.
You take amazing photographs, but if it no longer brings you pleasure, then maybe ask yourself, is it that photography, or is something else going on. Anyways, just a few thoughts. Step back, breath, take good care of yourself, and think of what you did at that lovely little Ange's cottage that helped you sleep so well. Here if you need me- also..I was told years ago when I was having issues sleeping, and stressing about it, resting and not stressing during the night is almost as good as sleep- not the same , but it helped me not stress so much. I hope things even out for you soon. ❤ Sending you love, light and healing thoughts. ❤ ❤ ❤
Two negatives make a positive. So fire away with those negative thoughts. But they’re not really negative thoughts. They’re things that need addressing. So how can something that needs to be fixed be considered negative. You’re doing something positive about eradicating these thoughts. That takes courage. Lots of courage. Keep it up. I love reading both your positive AND negative blogs.