Wheelchairs and waiting

If you didn’t see the post last week about Jono you can read it here. There’s not really any news on that front. A few councillors have been in touch, just a few (Chris MacManus, Marie Casserly and Dara Mulvey) this is quite disappointing considering how many were tagged and contacted. The occupational therapist phoned me on Thursday and said she see what she can do, the referral finally went in – surprise that after I kicked off about it.

Anyway Jono really needed to get out of the house so we headed to Ennskillen on Friday, they have a fantastic Shopmobilty scheme where anyone can avail of the use of a wheelchair/scooter. Unfortunately on the day we went up the scooters weren’t available but we got to borrow a wheelchair. I can’t begin to tell you how much easier life was. Jono was able to look at the things he wanted to look at. I was able to relax because I knew he was safe in the chair.

We had a fantastic, much needed, day out. Although I now realise how difficult life can be for wheelchair users. We saw cars parked on wheelchair ramps and as for cobble stones they might look pretty but for someone with a bad back in a wheelchair they are a nightmare. On the positive side the people of Enniskillen are fantastic. Two men offered to push Jono up the hills – there are a lot of hills in Ennskillen. Downhill is almost worse as I found out when we went whizzing off and Jono narrowly avoided being tipped out on numerous occasions. It’s also hard on the old hands pushing the chair (and hard on my back too). But all in all it was brilliant, thank you Shopmobility and Enniskillen for being so wonderful. This is available to everyone and they hire them out for longer periods too. Asda have their own little electric vehicles complete with a basket on the front. Jono didn’t try these because he was exhausted by the time we got there but it’s handy to know.

As for me. I’m now kind of scared to sleep, I know it’s the whole anxiety thing. I’m falling asleep but only for about an hour and then wide awake. I’m exhausted though. I fell asleep on top of the washing pile yesterday. I resorted to a sleeping tablet midweek but I hate the taste they have. I also don’t like how my body feels asleep but my mind is still racing. I’ll get there though.

The week has also been a stark reminder, again, of who my friends are. I can’t help but feel a bit sad, the coffee mornings which I thought might be a turning point with me making friends haven’t changed things at all. I know people are busy, have their own lives and their own stuff going on but sometimes it’s nice just to say hello, check if someone is OK. Especially when you see these busy people all over Social Media commenting on various things. Anyway I’m going to wind my neck in and drown in my bubble of exhaustion, happy Sunday.



Sleep and simmering

Thanks so much for the lovely comments especially to my Facebook tribe. I can always rely on someone when I’m on a middle of the night rant. I managed to sleep last night, I feel like I failed because I took a tablet. I’m now suffering this morning – the rotten taste in my mouth and my head moving ten minutes after it was meant too.

I’m home today so I can be dozy in the comfort of my own place. A few things have come up over the last few days. There was almost a very long, angry, blog post yesterday but Andy is a very wise person and advised me to find out the full story before I start complaining. He’s very right so that topic is on hold for now, it doesn’t stop me fuming about it but I tell you something when I find out who was behind this particular situation there’ll be noise made. At the moment I’m simmering quietly…..

Happy Anniversary to Me

It’s been a year since I had a panic attack in a mindfulness class. I think there should be cake at the very least. It’s probably been the strangest year of my adult life. A whole host of emotions tumbling through my head and a roller-coaster of feelings. This particular panic attack was a low point.

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Marvellous May

A bit of a personal update as it’s been quite a while since I’ve done one. I finished counselling last week. It was my decision, I just felt like I had nothing else to say. I don’t feel like dredging the past up anymore and I’m finding ways to cope with the present. The future can look after itself.

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Tribes and Tribulations

I’m off on a bit of a rant (well a sort of rant) so forgive me. I’ve noticed a new buzz word recently – tribe. Each to their own and all that but from me it’s a no.

I don’t have a tribe and I don’t want a tribe if I’m totally honest. Most of the time I hate people, not all people obviously, but big, noisy, crowds are my nightmare. I find with some people they just suck the positivity out of me. There’s always someone with a ‘helpful’ suggestion. I’m guilty of that too, I know that, but I’m trying to stop giving unsolicited advice.

Some people expect you to drop everything for them but if I have something going on 9 times out of 10 I’m surrounded by tumble weed. The crowds have dwindled to nothing. This is not with everyone, I know I have some very good people there for me and I’m very grateful. As for a tribe though – I’ll be a lone soldier.

I’m wondering what the next buzz word will be……