So here we are again, the end of another week. A much quieter one than last week and good in places but the down times when they come are not good at all.
Sometimes with anxiety and depression I feel like the whole universe has decided to dump everything on me. It’s hard to deal with things when you are in ‘that place’. The overwhelming urge to crawl into a corner and rock back and forwards appears – I know people who have never had this problem with be shaking their heads at how honest I am but if it helps just one person that’s enough for me.
I put on my mask and people on the outside think I’m doing great. Sometimes it’s easy to hide the internal tremors .
It’s said that money doesn’t bring happiness but this week it would have helped. I have car troubles, poor Gilbert is limping along, a bit like myself, and of course living in the ‘sticks’ I need a car. I’d worry that I might end up like Jack Nicholson in The Shining if I wasn’t able to get out and about. Anyway there isn’t much I can do about that at the moment so I’ll hang on in there.
This week was made easier by my lovely chemist, it’s worth coming to Coolaney just to visit The Mill Pharmacy. The ladies there are just so lovely and poor Hilary has often put up with my outpourings and still manages to make me smile.
I suppose I should go back to the doctor but to be honest I can’t be bothered. Most times it involves a three-hour wait followed by five or ten minutes with the doctor and a new lot of pills to try.
Meeting up with friends this week was also good. Texts sent at just the right time mean such a lot to me. Some people know just how I feel and we even managed to laugh about some of the symptoms. It’s so important for me to keep my sense of humour – even if sometimes it seems to have taken a break.
Chocolate has paid a big part this week too. I lost count of the amount of chocolate biscuit cakes I made, recipes to follow. I also sort of accidentally inhaled half an Aero at 3am this morning. Don’t you just love insomnia?
On a positive note – see I’m not all doom and gloom – I managed to sort out some of the boxes from the move. I hadn’t looked at these since December so that’s quite an achievement. I also haven’t taken a sleeping tablet for three days – hence the insomnia! I also think that’s probably why I have the shakes. Oh the joys.
Anyway that’s where I am this week in the battle of sorting out my mental health issues. Thanks for reading.