anxiety

A mindful catch up

It’s been ages since I’ve written about how I’m doing in general. I think that’s probably the best sign that I’m doing OK as I haven’t felt the need to write about anything. The break away seems to have fixed my insomnia, I hope I’m not jinxing it now by saying that!

I feel a lot more settled in myself. Of course there are still things that I’d like to change but at the moment they are fine to stay the way they are. I know the direction I want to move in and I’m sure when the time is right that will happened. I’ve stopped being so pushy about changing things. The thoughts are out there and I’ve a feeling the right opportunity will come along.

I’m also still learning quite a lot about myself. There have been a few occasions where I’ve felt ‘peopled out’. It takes quite a lot of effort to be around some people and I find it quite exhausting.

The hardest thing for me is still walking into a room full of people. I feel lost and uncomfortable. I used to be fine with this kind of thing but not anymore. I was at a networking event recently and although the room was full of people I felt completely alone. Everyone seemed to know everyone else and I’m not able to just walk up to a group of people and join in. So I sat on my own for a while and almost left until a lady who I knew came and sat with me.

As the event went on I saw someone else walk in and I could tell they felt exactly the same way that I did. I invited them to join us and was pleased when they did. They thanked me quietly and said they had been on the verge of leaving. Even as I’m typing this it’s making me feel quite anxious. I have to say if another event like this took place I wouldn’t go. I didn’t feel like I should be there, I felt like an outsider. You know the feeling you would get in school when people would be picked for the team and you’d sit on the bench waiting? That’s how I felt.

I think I might have mentioned that I had applied for a part-time college course. It was entrepreneurial studies but it’s been cancelled. I think that’s probably for the best. I applied in the hope I might learn something but my heart wasn’t really in it if I’m being totally honest. What I’d really love to do is a part-time art class but they all seem to be in the evenings and I’m not a fan of going out in the evening. When I’m home I like to be home.

I know some of you who read the blog have their own battles with mental health so if you are in Sligo there’s a fantastic event happening on Wednesday October 10th in AngelWorld. Bekkii and Tara from Replenish Sligo have organised an event for World Mental Health Day. It’s on from 11am – 4.30pm in AngelWorld. You’ll hear guest speakers and people sharing their personal experiences. All are welcome and they are lovely ladies and very welcoming and understanding.

As always thanks for reading…and a special thank you to the lady who came up and said hello to me at the Strandhill Food Festival yesterday, it made my day.

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