I’ll be glad when 2018 is here, new year, new start and all that. It might stop me being so maudlin. I’m sitting here at the kitchen table with its garishly bright Christmas tablecloth listening to hard hitting questions on the radio: “Is the bingo on tonight?”
I’m thinking about people who have come and gone. Some passed away, some just walked away. New people who have arrived, I’m wondering if they are permanent or temporary. Is anything permanent anyway? Jaysus that’s deep.
I have a dog shivering at my feet, he’s not cold, he’s always like that. He loves the attention, bless him. A rescue dog who can’t tell me why he is scared of the broom, of cutlery, of life. I can imagine though and I don’t want to imagine. I have nothing but scorn for people who inflict pain on poor, defenseless, animals. He’s on my lap now enjoying a cuddle and kisses. He asks for nothing but gives so much.
I’m thinking about my dad. Facebook has a habit of throwing up memories when you least expect them. It doesn’t make me sad to think about him, he suffered so much pain in the last years of his life. He was like a shadow of the man I knew, the body was there but the character was long gone.
I’m thinking of others who are going through a similar situation. Watching loved ones suffering, trying to be strong and put on a brave face. A little bird is tapping at the window, a sign of someone looking out for me or perhaps just after insects.
I’m wondering what the new year will bring. New experiences, good health and less of a struggle with money hopefully. In a way it’s a good thing that we can’t see into the future sometimes. I hope whatever 2018 holds for you that it will be a good one.