Yes I know you’ll all be wondering about the title of this blog post but I can honestly say that I’m grateful I have depression.
It hasn’t been easy, in fact most of it has been very, very, hard. I’m still not my old self but I think that’s a good thing. I’m a much nicer version of myself. I have a long way to go, I know that, but so far I’m doing well. My counsellor even asked me today if I’d had a lobotomy as I came in as such a different person today!
There were times this year that I felt my life was over. Now I realise it’s just beginning but in a different way. I know that I’m not alone and that there are so many people out there who have depression but perhaps aren’t able to talk about it. I’m happy to be their voice.
I’m much more tolerant of others and I’m not so quick to judge. I’ve realised that I can’t be all things to all people and I need to try to relax more. I’ve found that it’s OK to ask for help and that most people are only too happy to help.
I’ve become more assertive without losing my cool or ‘flouncing’ like a child. I’ve found that I actually have loads of friends! I’m letting down my barriers and I’m willing to let people get to know me.
I’ve discovered I’m caring and compassionate. I want to be able to help others if I can. I loved talking to so many people on Monday, I was in my element! So the regular coffee mornings I’m hoping to have are something to look forward to. I’d also like to be some kind of ambassador for Havin’aLaugh, the poor folks don’t have a choice in this! Their ethos ‘making connections, creating support…..Havin’ a Laugh’ is something I can totally support.
Depression isn’t a bad word. If I had a physical illness I would talk about it so for me a mental illness is no different.
We all have things going on in our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly. I’ve realised that it’s not so much what is happening it’s about how I deal with things. Worrying about things isn’t going to make them go away or help me find an answer, in fact it makes me feel worse. So I’m going to try to stop worrying – quite a challenge I know.
I need to sort my diet out again, I’ve been eating mainly ‘beige’ things which I know is not good for me but it’s been what I’ve been craving. I’ve put on a few pounds, that’s grand I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I didn’t feel better when I lost weight anyway.
The waves will still keep coming and I’ll go with the flow and stop fighting the tide. In the beginning I didn’t want to accept I had depression and I was always looking for the answer why and hoping there was some kind of miracle cure. There isn’t and that’s OK. For possibly the first time in my life I actually quite like myself.
If you are going through a mental health illness it’s not always going to be a bleak as perhaps you might feel it is now. You will get through this and there is so much help out there, don’t be afraid to ask. Above all remember that you are not alone.
The next coffee morning is on Monday October 23rd from 10am – 12 noon at The Blind Tiger, Sligo. Come and join us. Bring a friend or meet a new friend.
The Havin’ a Laugh Charity promotes Life enhancing activities for positive mental health. Enjoy this monthly social occasion for your own sense of wellbeing and every few months there will be a raffle and fundraiser for the Havin’ a Laugh Charity.
Here are some links that might be of help.
STOP – Free Counseling Services
Freephone: 1850 211 877
IACP – Find a Therapist in your Area
Phone: 01 230 3536