Where I am now

I’m still buzzing from Monday and I’ve been quite reflective about it all. It’s been a real learning curve for me in a very good way. As you know depression hit me this year, the anxiety was always looming but the depression was a new thing.

I’m going to counselling sessions, I can’t say it’s enjoyable but I suppose it’s something that I need to do. You have to go back to go forward. I’m not going to lie, the counselling is draining and it’s really quite difficult looking at yourself in a different way. I’m not sure at the moment if I’m with the right counsellor for me so that’s something that may change.

Anyway I know I’m rambling now. Back to Monday. Probably for the first time in my life I accepted help. I realised that I couldn’t manage the morning on my own and I was so happy to see the amount of people willing to help. I’ve always been fiercely independent so this was a big thing for me to take a step back.

I also realised that I have so many friends and not just ones I know now but ones I have yet to meet. So that’s very exciting, in a way it’s like starting again.

To see so many people from all walks of life spending a couple of hours on Monday morning chatting and making new friends was heartwarming. I’d love this to be a regular thing where everyone feels welcome. In the back of my mind I’d love some kind of community cafe or something similar to a student common room.

That’s another thing that’s come out of this week. The ideas are back. It’s been a long time since I’ve had ideas, my head used to be buzzing with them but in the last few months I had just felt numb. It was almost like I was flat-lining, it was hard to get enthusiasm for anything and there was nothing I really felt like doing. Havin’aLaugh has changed this for me and given me something to think about.

One of my ideas is around the topic of depression. I want to get the word out that anyone can have it, so there is an idea forming. I won’t say too much about it just yet until I see if it’s a runner.

The other idea involves tourism and an ice cream van – yes I know! So if anyone out there has an ice cream van that they might be willing to lend me for a week next year drop me a message.

As I look back over the last few months I’ve realised that depression has taught me a huge amount about myself. It’s also made me a much more compassionate person. It’s taught me not to judge. We have no idea what anyone is going through in their lives.

A little kindness goes a long way. A smile, a kind word, a chat. It can make a huge difference. Mind yourselves and there will be another coffee morning.

About magnumlady

Photographer, blogger, hooked on social media. Based in Sligo, Ireland. Passionate about Ireland and always looking for the next adventure.

1 Response

  1. Carolin

    …. accepting help is a difficult thing.. that is a huge step Val! And finding a right therapist or group is like finding the right pair of walking shoes.. don’t be afraid to shop and change. You are so self aware and so active… I know there is nothing but wonderful things ahead for you Val…keep going. Don’t doubt yourself. You will recognize yourself in the mirror before you know it ❤️❤️

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