This evening I’m sad

Sorry for the negative post. I was doing really well but today I found out that someone I really respected unfriended me on Facebook. I know that sounds really trivial but I feel like I’ve let this person down.

I was meant to be doing a collaboration with them but I lost my nerve, the anxiety and panic attacks started and I couldn’t face it. I feel ashamed and useless once again.

So now I feel sad again, I wished people understood mental health issues and how it can affect people.  One minute I’m ticking along nicely and the next I’m hurt. I need to learn not to be so sensitive but now I just feel like crying.

I’ve lost so many people this year, part of me feels like there isn’t much point in trying to make friends anymore. I had such a positive day yesterday and now I feel like I’m back to square one.

Nothing I do will ever be good enough. I’m not good enough. Sorry again for the whinge but that’s just how it is this evening.


25 thoughts on “This evening I’m sad

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  1. Val, please don’t let this person determine your worth. I know it’s difficult not to take something like this personally, but it honestly says more about that person than you. They have shown no understanding or acceptance of your feelings. We all have times we have a commitment we cannot follow through on or face, it doesn’t make you useless. It’s sad when someone you respect treats you this way, but it’s not your fault. In fact I think it’s incredibly rude and ill mannered of them. I am awe inspired by your wonderful blog and how much you achieve, I wouldn’t have the discipline to do so much. Thank you for your lovely photos, videos and guides to beautiful Sligo and its surroundings. Also, you have a son who is in constant pain, a daughter with anxiety problems and you are supporting them and being their for them. That’s a huge amount you are doing. There is nothing useless about you and I think you are a pretty awesome person. I’m privileged to know you and to consider you a friend.

    1. Bang on, Casserlyrock. Val, you are very far removed from being useless. You have people in your life who love, care for and need you, including your precious family. The person who did this was thoughtless and, apparently, self-interested.

  2. Val whilst I sit here in Sligo waiting to collect a prescheduled order, I read your blog post

    Who says you are not good enough? That is only one fleeting impulsive thought. Don’t give it energy. Let it go. These are hundreds of thousands of other thoughts per second. Try to find a positive one.
    Secondly who says that anything you do is not/Will not be good enough.
    That’s your feeling right not. Momentary and transitory. Acknowledge it without believing it. Wish it well and let it go.
    Best wishes.

  3. I’ve been through such times myself so I can certainly empathize. It always hurts when we seem to lose a friend, and it hurts more when you are questioning yourself as a person. Have compassion for yourself and, if possible, for the other person too. You set your boundaries by not going ahead with the collaboration, as you need to focus on other things. That person, perhaps disappointed by this and not knowing how to express that disappointment more constructively, called off the friendship. Or maybe it was, to them, just the collaboration in the first place, and with that gone, there wasn’t, for them, point in continuing the relationship. People are free to make their own choices and we all do all the time. Focus on your own needs and values, and be kind to yourself. We can’t be all things to all people, least of all when we are intensively healing ourselves.

  4. Also, I would add if the feelings of worthlessness you are experiencing are really triggering for you, calling up old shame etc. then don’t hesitate to call the Samaritans if you feel desperate. Please.

  5. As someone else said, the loss is not yours, Val. If someone chooses to accept only one side of you, let them go.
    I know how you feel, but prefer to know the people who accept me as I am, able or not able, are my real friends. xxx

  6. I agree with all the above. If someone is a friend they will accept with patience if you are having difficulty. It seems like a snap decision on their part. Have a good cry if you feel like it, it can help to let the emotions out. Be kind to yourself. X

  7. Do not let this take you down, Val. On other days – it would not have hurt this much, or even worse. We are not meant to be in the same mood every day; life has its ups and downs. If it was a dark day today, you will enjoy tomorrow’s lighter one even more. ☘

  8. This is your place to vent, Val…we all need to do the same or we’d explode. Please don’t take it personally if someone unfriends you. It may have nothing to do with you personally, and just a “clean up” of their own page if you don’t correspond personally often. If it’s not a personal friend…they weren’t your friend anyway for not giving you a reason. We love your posts, and are so proud of your progress along the way. You’ve come so far, and you’re on the brink of great things with your photography and your writing. Keep going! XOXO

    1. oops…that should say “if it’s a personal friend…”. I got upset at you being sad and upset so I typed too fast. Love you and your work, Val! Don’t be sad about an unfriending, be happy about all the new friends you have made!

  9. Val, I’ve been aware of you through friends on Facebook, but I have to admit, have not followed you personally yet. But this post has particularly caught my eye. Mainly because it takes so much strength and courage to openly admit to feel sad and hurt. I wish I would have your strength to voice my emotions more often and more direct. It’s easy to unfriend somebody without any explanation. It takes backbone with your chin held up high to be aware of yourself, how you feel and write about it. Don’t let this get you down. Please keep in mind that with your honesty and post, you made at least one person less sad tonight. Sending you hugs

  10. Oh my, you ARE good enough! Here I am in the U.S. reading your blogs, enjoying your pictures and recently have turned the page on my beautiful calendar that you designed. You are a wonderful mother and you bring joy to others, but please don’t try to be perfect. Have a bad day, that’s ok, but pick yourself up and start fresh tomorrow. Don’t let that one little negative action of another have so much power over you. Look away from it and look towards those who appreciate you immensely!

  11. Hey Val don’t forget your REAL friends who love you just the way you are (as the song goes).even though you don’t like hugs I’m gonna give you one this week if you’re around! 😉

  12. That’s just stupidity and ignorance! You don’t them or that. Keep strong. Step by step. You are doing great xxx

  13. Val please hang in there, I have been in the same place myself. Everything must seem triple magnified at the moment, social media is a blessing and a pain. If your “friend” has unfriended you, that’s fine, you have 10 to replace that 1. I always say, anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself cut them out like a bad growth, within days, when you realise you will have no contact with them you begin to feel better in yourself without that anxious feeling of seeing them again. I hope you have a sunshine day tomorrow and wake up feeling positive. X

  14. Hello. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. We connect via the wonderful medium the Internet provides. I cannot express how much I enjoy reading your stories and viewing your photography. I am in the USA, I have traveled to my “home town” Sligo in 2013 and 2016. My grandfather was born there and I do have a lot of family I am privileged to know personally there. You provide me with a daily dose of sunshine and love for my roots, for my family, for my very soul. Please don’t stop doing what you do. Although you are a stranger you are a very important part of my life. Thank you for sharing all you do!!

  15. I hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day for you;that some one or some experience will lift your spirits and reaffirm your sense of yourself as priceless and unique. Although I don’t know you personally I ALWAYS enjoy your postings and your window into the wonderful world of Ireland and Celtic heritage. God bless you!

  16. You clearly have many who love and accept you for who you are. Don’t let those who can’t understand ruin anything!

  17. Val….think of how you were feeling before you saw what this person did. Think about that happiness you had. Think about the state of mind you were in. Now think about that person clicking unfriend. Should that one person have so much power over you. Should their opinion (rather than picking up the phone and saying…next time babe…no pressure) and their 1 click really matter. I know it’s easy for me to say….but you have lots of people who are behind you and who will wait for the time to be right. Xx keep being you

  18. Sometimes unfriending doesn’t mean what you think — that person may have given up time on Facebook, or wants to limit their contacts to family. Actions taken in a fit of pique don’t always have great meaning, either. If it’s meant to be, it will blow over. You are worthy and human, always striving for the good. So many of us admire you.

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