Yet again I’ve given myself a bit of a kick up the backside and told myself to ‘cop on’. This old depression thing is a devil, one minute I’m riding along the crest of a wave, the next I’ve fallen on my surfboard and overwhelmed by a wave….but I have so much to be grateful for.
Not only my wonderful, long-suffering family who have had to put up with me but I’ve also realised over the past few weeks that I have some wonderful friends and huge support.
Huge thanks have to go to the two ladies who sent me such lovely cards. To the women who have listened to me moan over the last two days. J you are a star and I hope you know that. To S and C who made me laugh today as I recalled my mindfulness panic attack – it’s so bizarre it’s really funny.
Of course to my lovely drama therapist who is so sensible and understands me so well. I wish I was a wise as she is…..maybe one day.
An article was published in Go Wild Magazine about all the adventures I had a couple of years ago exploring the Wild Atlantic Way. It was wonderful to be reminded of that time and the person I used to be before the shadow took over.
I’m going on a mindfulness course on Sunday (fingers crossed I won’t have another panic). I’m also starting CBT next week – this time I’m going with an open mind. I’ve stopped taking the sleeping tablets (all they did was make my body go to sleep but my mind was still racing). Laurence recommended Dormeasan to help me sleep and it works really well although it tastes absolutely disgusting! The higher dose of antidepressants I’m seem to be working a bit although I still have ‘shaky head syndrome’ in the mornings.
I know I won’t be better today or tomorrow, I’m a work in progress….but if all else fails I have ‘nice hair’ or at least that’s what the mindfulness tutor listed as my positive feature in the middle of my panic attack…….