So today is World Health Day and I thought it was time I did an update on how I’m feeling.
As always there are good and bad days but I’m delighted to say more good than bad. The anxiety has actually done me some good in a strange way. It’s made me stop and take a long hard look at myself; the good, the bad and the ugly. I know for sure I am my own worst enemy but I also now know that I have to listen to myself more – and not be so stubborn – Andy will be delighted!
The therapy has made me realise there is a softer, much more vulnerable side to me that I have to look after and pay more attention to. I’ve also kind of started to get part of the ‘original’ me back again. I know that sounds very odd but for a long time I felt like I was a shadow of my former self and I feel like I’m gradually coming back.
I’m still not great with certain things, I still feel like I’m on the outside looking in on life but not really part of some aspects of it. I walk the walk and talk the talk but don’t feel like I fit unless I’m with my family. I find it extremely hard to make friends and even harder to keep friends. I’d love there to be a kind of Tinder app to make friends….maybe there is. I feel I’ve lost friends through all this and that’s OK. I suppose some people can’t be dealing with it, I was sad for a while but there’s nothing I can do about it.
This week I ended up with a really bad throat infection and am on strong antibiotics, I felt really rough so when Andy told me to go to bed I did….and I felt better for it. It’s almost like it was my body telling me to stop and just relax.
On the plus side the healthy eating is still going well. I’m finally not in the overweight category with my BMI. My blood pressure and cholesterol and both normal and both had been high previously so that’s all good news. I need to get some new clothes because my tops in particular are hanging off me. So I’ll be heading to the charity shops 🙂 It just goes to show that if you stick to a long term plan it does pay off and you can still have treat days…..and occasional cakes!
So good news all round I think.