Glancing back but looking forward

I have about 5 blogs in the process of being written so apologies for my quietness….think yourself lucky because in real life I’m anything but quiet. Sometimes you end up in the wrong place at the wrong time but I think it happens for a reason, this week was one of those times.

There was a fashion show last night in support of Cafe Fia, which is the community cafe in Coolaney, it’s a pop-up cafe at the moment but in the process of becoming a reality. Last year I took photos at the fashion show this year I wasn’t asked but I was going along to watch. On Thursday I ended up bumping into Manuela who works in Chiara Poli – The Italian Wardrobe and they were short a model –  the rest is history!

There I was last night with my silver nails (thanks Lucy for the nail varnish) and my one waxed eyebrow…not intentional – I didn’t have time to get them sorted and I ran out of wax strips. My roots were showing – I’ve run out of Domestos 😉 but I was relaxed and happy – and that was before I had the vodka and lemonade (tip for you it’s called vodka and white here in Ireland – I found that out yesterday).

The other models were absolutely lovely and Manuela and Chiara were both so helpful and of course so stylish. I thought Chiara changed her outfit mid-way through but she just added a scarf – she advised us that sometimes that’s all you need to do – just change the accessories.

Anyway I’m babbling. So there I was back at the scene of a past trauma. The last time I was in this venue I was singing in the choir. I was at the back of the group stuck up against a wall and I couldn’t see the choirmaster. This was some time last year, it was almost another panic attack. I felt uncomfortable, awkward and unwanted – now I know this was what was going on in my head but it was very real. At the break everyone had someone to talk to except me and I contemplated going home but I was determined not to give in to anxiety – in hindsight I should have come home – it wouldn’t have been giving in it would have been listening to my feelings.

So last night I was in the same venue, the choir was singing in the break. I’d been having a rest from it as I wasn’t sure how I felt and the art has taken over. Last night I realised it is time for me to finish with the choir, the ladies are great but it’s not for me. At least I tried.

I had a ball at the fashion show, my inner Naomi Campbell came out (I didn’t even know she was there!) I’m not the perfect model in the fashion worlds eyes, I’m too short and I’m cuddly but I made the best of what I had…and I loved it!

One of the funniest things of the night was the lady who thought I’d lost weight since I was in the choir – I’ve put on two stone! There you go though it’s how you feel in yourself. I’ve been told so much lately that I’m glowing – and do you know what? I am. Bring on the next challenge.