I thought I was doing really well at this positive attitude malarky but I haven’t got it under control just yet. I was doing so well until today, I thought I’d been asked to speak at an event – I was thrilled at the beginning but I didn’t get a reply to the email that was sent weeks ago saying I’d be delighted.
Today I see that speakers were being announced so I sent another email and got this reply:
“we appreciate your willingness to speak at the event however since we initially reached out to speakers we have been fully booked out. I hope you have a nice weekend. “
To be honest I’m quite angry at the reply, it makes it sound like it was I who had approached them and not the other way around. I asked my fellow bloggers and they advised me that the first email I got was just a generic one, that they weren’t actually asking me directly. So this is where Negative Nancy comes in “Of course they weren’t asking you, sure what do you know about anything anyway. They probably sent the email in error and regretted it as soon as it was sent.”
There was, as far as I know, no payment involved. The talk was about Instagram which I know a fair bit about (Negative Nancy tells me otherwise) and also Instagram for business. I run a couple of business Instagram accounts but they might not have been aware of this. I do think it’s bad form that they couldn’t have contacted me sooner without me having to chase things up. I feel bloody stupid now to be honest.
It’s a shame because it sounded like a great event and I would have been thrilled to be involved and spread the word but, for now, I’ll crawl back under my rock.
No need to crawl under your rock. Come out and shine. They do not know what they have missed. 🌹🌹
Thank you Teresa, I’m feeling very stupid at the moment.
As a lifelong performer through several mediums, this reads like a regular day at the office, Val. Not worth letting it be personal, Val. I say that from being immune to rejection emails. Yes, some of those rejection emails do come over as snooty.
Two things I have learned. One is the all performers and presenters are beggars. We are perhaps not as special as we think we are, but it is i portant to hold belief in what we do. Belief is a kind of wholesome ‘self love’,while expecting people to like us and what we do is an empty vessel.
The second thing, is set up your own events. Bring the people to you rather you beg to perform for others. If you want to give a talk on Instagram, set up a talk on Instagram somewhere. For one, I don’t have a clue about Instagram.
I love the events we set up the best as it is rare to find a decent host. I find that most people who book us treat us as some slime that has walked in. I often wonder why they bother. With self created events, I find I am not bothered about how many turn up. Words of W.B. Years pop up, “if my audience is 28 or less people, I know they have come to see me. Over 28, then they’ve not got anything better to do”.
Just let go of this, Val, and consider setting up your own events, scary as that may seem. You have a lot of fans.
Thanks John – and I couldn’t do that. The coffee mornings are enough for me! Even then I’m always slightly terrified.
When it is scary it does need a supportive mentor who is into the same thing. Sadly that can take some searching. But when it happens, success is enjoys, then the confidence comes to do it yourself.
Fortunately, you do a lot of things already and get good response.
I’m sorry this happened Val, it sounds like someone has drooped the ball, and its not you. You have every right to feel angry, as they reached out to you- and I’m assuming you scheduled around it- and they made the mistake, not you. I know the feeling of disappointment you are feeling right now, and I also have my own version of “Negative Nancy” that dances around in my head. For me, I have learned that my Negative Nancy was a great coping tool from my childhood- long story- but that she needed to learn new ways of dealing with the present world, and I am happy to say we have both been good students. It took awhile because anytime she popped up, it was usually a trigger of some kind- like rejection, or misunderstanding something- and I would take it to heart and blame myself for being “stupid”, ” why did I think they would be interested in me”, ” what made me think I was so special’ etc…all old childhood tapes still playing in my head.
As John says, you do a lot amazing things now and get great response, those are the moments to hold on to. And, find those that support and believe in you is huge, you find them- which you have- those are your Tribe, those are the folks who will help you up in moments like these.
I love doing what I do- speaking and advocating for mental health and change etc, but I also know its not everyone’s thing. I am now at a point in my life if something doesn’t work out for me, its not about me, its about schedules, their criteria etc. This doesn’t mean I don’t feel disappointed etc, and sometime “Sarcastic Suzy” comes out, but we have much healthier conversations for the most part.
You have no need to hide under a rock or feel stupid. Maybe instead, gentle pull Negative Nancy aside, let her know this is not about her, its about someones mistake, nurture her and yourself with self care and reminders her that she is in the year 2018. Its OK to feel angry, disappointed and sad about this whole thing, those feelings need to be validated.
You do amazing things in your life, and you do make a difference. Look at me, I’m making sure I’m stopping by in your neck of the woods on my trip- because of what you write and what you do. And I’m not only across the Atlantic, I’m across the other bloody side of Canada. – where it is now 4:41 am and I have been awake for 2 hours because- well who the Hell knows….take good care of yourself my friend.
Anytime my friend 🙂 ❤
Val, you need to find that young step dancing girl, she looks like she was pretty confident, push her forward.
Looks can be deceiving
Great post there Val, there’s no getting around the sting of rejection it bloody hurts . but boy what a great support network you have here. The wisdom of the woodland bard was inspirational great reading and one very wise man…. take one more step forward ..
Thank you Don
Also I have a friend who is on the positive thinking circuit , she is paid handsomely to travel from church to church proclaiming how Jesus rescued her from the depths of depression and burn out.. the reality is she has a great doctor ,meds that work and fantastic support network, these sadly don’t get mentioned as part of her hero’s journey.. recently she convinced herself she could go cold turkey and stop all meds this was short-lived and. she now accepts that some woes can not be cured only carried …
Wow, that’s had me gobsmacked! I wish the stigma would end about meds