I’ve always enjoyed my own company. I’m happy going off for a wander, visiting new places and trying new adventures.
In recent years I’ve noticed I’m getting very bad socially. I have a couple of close friends and of course my lovely family but that’s it. In the past I’ve gone along to an event, walked in the door and walked straight back out again. Some days are better than others.
Last night was something else. I went along to something I’d been looking forward to for a long time. I was having a lovely time during the meal but when it was over our group moved into the bar area. This finished the evening for me. I just stood looking and couldn’t bring myself to join everyone. I’m wondering what on earth is wrong with me. I found the noise and all the people just completely overwhelming and had to leave. Part of me is kicking myself because I’m sure I would have had a lovely time if I’d have stayed. The other part of me was so relieved to come home. I think if I’d have stayed I would have had some kind of panic attack.
I suppose the point of this blog is to hopefully know that I’m not the only person who feels like this and also if anyone has any advice I’d be very grateful. I have moments where I’m very outgoing but more often than not these days I just want to run away from everything.