There’s a change on the horizon. I can feel it, in fact at this stage I can almost see it. It’s been looming for a while but it’s getting closer. The love of photography is back with a bang and for weeks I’ve been waking up at some ridiculous hour wanting to climb a mountain.
That’s huge in itself as this time last year I didn’t have the energy to climb the stairs let alone think about a mountain. I’m beginning to notice things again. Last week I was driving in to town and I noticed signs No, No, No – from the referendum but a sign to me that I need to say no a lot more. The other signs I noticed were Used (as in used cars) but certainly how I was feeling at the time. Do you know what? I only have myself to blame. If I don’t value myself no one else will. I am worth so much more than a free coffee or a free lunch and I need to remember that. To be honest there’s no such thing as a free lunch anyway.
Another thing that has become glaring obvious in the last few weeks is that financially I need to give myself a kick. I would love to be able to help my kids out, Jono with medical assistance and Lucy with a deposit for a place, but I can’t afford to do it. Again that’s my fault, if I’d said no years ago this might have been a different story. It’s made me angry at myself but I suppose I thought I was being a nice person, being helpful, perhaps trying to make myself likable. All the time I was helping out the wrong people because when I go looking those people are long gone. Not all of them but the majority of them.
The tide, hopefully, is changing. I know I’ve kind of tried before but I’ve never been as focused as I am now. I’m not 100% sure what direction I want to go in but I know what direction I don’t want to go in and it’s time to try to sort that out.
Thanks for taking the time to read this….now where’s that mountain?
Magnumlady Blog 
i’ve no park, no bloom, no mountain, but the invitation still stands