You know you’re in Ireland when……

ShamrockYou shout Mary in the street and all the women (and a couple of the men turn around).You get excited by the ‘grand stretch in the evening’.

You go into a restaurant for a ‘feed’.

Everyone knows someone called Pat and John.

People say ‘Howya’ as a form of hello. You aren’t expected to actually tell them how you are.

You could be run over by a car and still say ‘I’m grand’.

Nights out don’t start until at least 10pm.

The F word is used in every sentence.

Every body knows everyone else.

A mineral is coke.

A packet of crisps are always called Tayto.

You hear the death notices on the radio….followed by Bingo.

You can get a pint, a hair cut and buy a house all in the same shop.

In the local doctors you’ll get asked how your bullocks are.

You ask for a couple of sweets and the shopkeeper asks how many you want.

No one is ever on time for anything.

It’s always raining.

Anyone got anything else?

The ones below ‘You know you’re Irish when’ seen on Ireland.Inc
“you do the total opposite to what the doctor told you”“your freckles outnumber the days in the year”

“bosco taught you to count”

“you know what a culchie, a langer and a bogger is”

“going for one means ten pints in the pub”

“you have red roots”

“you get great satisfaction from seeing your clothes dry outside in one day”

“you can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking”

“it’s ok to live with your parents until you’re at least 30”

“you have no idea how to make a long story short”

“you’re strangely poetic after a few beers”

“your first communion makes you more money than your first months salary”

“dinner is not a proper meal without a spud”

“you understand what someone means when they say come over at half 8, it actually means half 9”

“people ask how you are doing and then they do not stay around to hear your reply”

“you are, or know someone, named “Murph”. If you don’t know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don’t know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you’ll probably also know Sully McMurphy”

 “you may not know the words, but that doesn’t stop you from singing”

“and last but not least… Being Irish means… your attention span is so short that … oh, forget it”


17 thoughts on “You know you’re in Ireland when……

  1. suz says:

    ha ha this was so funny
    and actually…..most of those could be answered by most of the southside of Chicago………Parishes are big too……..
    and just in case you missed my comment on your comment…..
    ha ha……I’m in! (flash mob dance indeed!)
    hee hee

  2. TheQ47 says:

    You know you’re in Ireland when …

    o You’re offered a cup of tay as soon as you enter someone’s house;

    o You only remembered to do your homework on a Sunday evening when you heard the sound of Glenroe on the telly;

    o You show your love for someone by calling him “an oul bo***x” / her “the wagon”;

    o It’s absolutely normal to call your mother “mammy” even if you’re 40 years old;

    o The wooden spoon is not really for baking/cooking at all, and the thought of it strikes fear into you even now;

    o The cure for a sick stomach in a child is flat (and/or boiled and cooled) 7Up;

    o The front door of your house is almost never used, only for special visitors or by strangers;

    o You know what a “hot press” is.

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