Midweek Musings

Of course it’s 4am and I’m wide awake and really hungry. 

So far this week it’s been another up and down one. 

Monday was a really low day. I’m fed up of this whole numb feeling. It’s like there’s no emotion there at all. I went back to the doctor to see if I could change the antidepressants or stop them but she advised me to stay on them until I talk to my counsellor.

I was in such a low mood that I cancelled meeting a friend and didn’t go to choir. I couldn’t face it. 

I’m also in two minds about the choir at the moment. We have a big concert coming up and I’m scared. I don’t feel good enough. Here we go again with the worthless feeling.

Tuesday was a better day. I was asked to go on the radio to talk about the long waiting lists for scoliosis patients (there’s another blog in that). What surprised me was how fired up I got when I was speaking. So deep down there is feeling there, it just needs a fair bit of prodding to come out.

I also went to my first ever yoga class, again there’s another blog post, I’m trying to find the cure for relaxation. I’m still hoping for a miracle cure or a magic wand.

I have a million things to do today ahead of Jono and I going away. I’m so not organised which isn’t like me at all but for once I’ve written a list of everything I have to do. I would normally have all kinds of plans for places to visit when we are away but it’s going to just be spur of the moment things this time. 

If anyone out there is on sertraline how are you finding it? Is this high and low feeling normal? I know everyone is different but I’d love to find out what works for people.

I’m now going to try to sleep again which is going to be difficult with my stomach rumbling and the craving I have for a bag of chips. There’s another thing, the old me hates chips! The depressed me always wants a bag in the middle of the night preferably smothered in salt and vinegar.

Goodnight all x

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Midweek Musings

  1. Margaret McGee says:

    Hi Val, I don’t know about the tablets you are on specifically, but it’s not a good idea to just come off them cold turkey. If they are mood regulators you might need to change if you feel they are overcompensating by numbing everything. I know it’s hard to motivate yourself to go to choir because if how you feel, but singing and music and the camaraderie of choir will definitely help. Maybe if you plan to go with someone, it might help, as you have company and I’d say you don’t like to let people down. You have fire in your soul, I do know that and it’s a good fire. You could hear it on your oceanfm piece, keep it lit xx

  2. Linda James says:

    Hi Val …shame the weather is not helping moods at the minute…I have a fishpond and anytime my mind goes on overtime I just look into thevpond watch the fish..and clear the mind…there is something very calming about water… ( not rain)…you are very welcome to come and have a coffee / tea. And a chat I am Sligo/Mayo border…7 km. Charles town…6 k Gurteen…7 km. Ballaghaderreen .. I do hope you are feeling a bit better when you read this ..my son went to his doctors and said he was not taking the tablets he had given him because they were making him feel worse ..but he is in UK..and I don’t bknow what the tablets were….but at least he now has been taken seriously. And a psychiatrist has been contacted for him..and he said to me that’s what he wanted all the time ..to unlock whatever is going on his mind …anyway Val looks like youbare going away.. So try to relax take photographs and enjoy yourself ..maybe it will be a bit of a tonic for you both …xx. Linda

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s