Oh there are a lot of thoughts this week, they’ve been bumbling around my head for a while so I’ll try to make sense of them. Have a read and let me know what you think.
The first thing I want to talk about is disconnection. In a world were we are so connected with technology we are becoming more and more disconnected. Maybe that’s just me, I’ve never been great at picking up the phone and speaking to people, so I just don’t do it these days. It’s not just the talking though it’s the Facebook groups and WhatsApp groups too, on the majority of them it seems to be one person sending all the messages. I’m guilty of being the person who kills the messages dead so now I tend to stay on the sidelines. I also have very little tact, I’d get straight to the point without any of the politeness first – I’m trying to work on that one.
Anyway I feel disconnected, I know I should send people messages but I don’t have anything to say. I haven’t done anything so there isn’t anything to talk about. I’m seeing so much nastiness online so I just mainly share photos – and even that’s not a safe thing to do. When the lockdowns first started I was trying to get my head around things, I was waiting for a food shop to open so I got a coffee and sat by the river. The sun was beating down and the sky was a beautiful blue, I took a photo and shared it to twitter. Almost immediately someone who I know in real life and who I respected, started a thread about how that wasn’t essential and how I shouldn’t have been sitting by the river. Yes it was essential, it was essential for my wellbeing, as someone who has experience of anxiety and depression I needed those five minutes and I thought the photo might bring joy to others. So who was this person to judge me?
So with the disconnected feeling I’m actually dreading when we have to meet up with people in real life. If I can’t socialise online how am I going to be able to do it in real life? Even thinking about it causes anxiety. Do you feel the same?
We will be allowed to travel within our counties from tomorrow, I should say permitted but it’s kind of the same thing. We can also meet up with one other person from another household outside. I’m looking forward to going to the sea, I’ve missed it. I’m also looking forward to going on walks that I haven’t been on for a while. I haven’t arranged to meet anyone though, again it’s back to the disconnected feeling. I was always quite a loner and now I’m even more of one, I’m grateful that I like my own company but I get on my nerves sometimes!
I’d love to know your thoughts on this. If you don’t want to leave a comment on the blog you can drop me an email firstname.lastname@example.org