It’s been a complete roller-coaster of a week. Last Sunday we were celebrating our wedding anniversary and Andy’s birthday. On Monday I was saying goodbye to my mother.
Highs and lows of emotions. Moments of bewilderment and being lost in thought among ‘normal’ life – laundry and dinners.
Lucy and Laurence both getting the news that they’d passed their exams with a first. I’m so proud of them both and this was really a bright point in a tough week.
Sleep has been sporadic. Some nights OK and other nights not good at all but it’s early days. Rescue Remedy was a godsend on the day of the funeral, I went from pacing the room to calming down and dealing with the day much better than I thought I would. Seeing familiar faces really helped too as well as all the lovely messages.
Meeting a friend for a coffee this weekend was another thing that helped. I also found myself going back to the grave the day after the funeral and just having a moment on my own. Going for walks and finding white feathers, resting and reading, endless mugs of tea. It’s the little things.
A new week begins tomorrow. I’m looking forward to getting back to some kind of routine. I feel lost without it, like I’m wandering aimlessly without direction. It’s the end of a chapter but time to move on to a new one.