I hear the ticking of the clock. I’m lying here the rooms pitch dark. Except it’s not because my phone is glowing, with the blue filter off because it’s meant to keep you awake. Ha!
Why don’t I leave my phone downstairs? Probably because I know I like writing blog posts in the middle of the night!
Why is it always in the middle of the night that my mind insists on thinking of every daft thing I’ve ever said…that’s quite a lot of thoughts.
I think I must be very unlikeable. I feel like such a loser unless I’m with my family. Everyone seems to have a huge circle of friends but still I don’t really have anyone. I think I’m making friends and then silence. I’m probably too needy.
I’m at the stage now that I think I need to ‘buy’ friendship. That’s not a good place to be. I miss the days when I was enough company for me. I suppose I spend so much time stuck with my thoughts that I’d like a break.
I think I must come across as too desparate and it repels people. I can’t say I blame them.
One day and probably very soon I’ll just stop trying. I’ll stay in my bubble and keep quiet, although I’ve never managed to keep quiet yet. I suppose there’s a first time for everything.
Just ignore me and my middle of the night ramblings. Midlife crisis at it’s finest.