Empty bottle

I have a thing about bottles. This is the bottom of an empty Gunpowder Gin bottle, manufactured just down the road in Drumshanbo, Co. Leitrim.

One of the things I love about photography is looking at things from different angles. It puts a completely different perspective on things.

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Drowning in pressure

I’m starting to get quite stressed, more so than usual, at the moment I feel like I have way to much going on to be able to deal with. I’m going to take some time to work out today what is necessary for me to do and what will have to be shelved.

It’s back to the whole thing of not wanting to let anyone down but running myself ragged. So today it’ll be all about working out priorities. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to paint (except for at the wonderful Lily Lolly Watercolour Class on Friday) I really miss painting so I need to get back to it.

I also have a million photos to edit and umpteen blog posts to write but if they get written in a few weeks so be it.

The first change is that my last Havin’ a Laugh Social Coffee morning is tomorrow (Monday 11th June) in The Blind Tiger, Sligo from 10 am – 12 noon. All are welcome and I’d love to see you for a final time.

Tight trousers, John Travolta and more….

It’s been a mixed bag of a day. The first dilemma was trying to get my trousers on this morning, I needed to lie on a bed to do the button up….I sort of forgot about that fact when I was out and about…so the slabs of cake have to stop.

We went swimming and I took Jono for a lovely reiki treatment with Gently Drift that he really enjoyed. While he was there I had to go to the library to print out my bank statements. I’m not kidding it was like War and Peace all over again – over 60 odd pages for just 3 months! It makes for quite depressing reading too. I was sitting next to a John Travolta fan in the library who was also on a computer and doing his own live version of Grease, I must say between him singing and the online banking website my nerves were as frayed as the button hole on my trousers.

Lucy made me feel better by buying me a gorgeous purse covered in dogs. It’s so cute! I can’t wait to start using it….hopefully it’ll be a lucky purse too. There’s a big sale in the Essential Seconds MS charity shop in Sligo town so well worth checking out.

This afternoon I went to a local garden centre and I was quite sad to see plants dying. Beautiful poppies all withering away, at the back of the centre. I asked if they were for sale and was told they were a euro each I only bought two of them because I’m not sure if I will be able to revive them and I couldn’t afford 30 odd quid on half dead plants but I’m sad that the rest are going to die. 😦 I hope plants go to heaven.

Getting Focused

There’s a change on the horizon. I can feel it, in fact at this stage I can almost see it. It’s been looming for a while but it’s getting closer. The love of photography is back with a bang and for weeks I’ve been waking up at some ridiculous hour wanting to climb a mountain.

That’s huge in itself as this time last year I didn’t have the energy to climb the stairs let alone think about a mountain. I’m beginning to notice things again. Last week I was driving in to town and I noticed signs No, No, No – from the referendum but a sign to me that I need to say no a lot more. The other signs I noticed were Used (as in used cars) but certainly how I was feeling at the time.  Do you know what? I only have myself to blame. If I don’t value myself no one else will. I am worth so much more than a free coffee or a free lunch and I need to remember that. To be honest there’s no such thing as a free lunch anyway.

Another thing that has become glaring obvious in the last few weeks is that financially I need to give myself a kick. I would love to be able to help my kids out, Jono with medical assistance and Lucy with a deposit for a place, but I can’t afford to do it. Again that’s my fault, if I’d said no years ago this might have been a different story. It’s made me angry at myself but I suppose I thought I was being a nice person, being helpful, perhaps trying to make myself likable. All the time I was helping out the wrong people because when I go looking those people are long gone. Not all of them but the majority of them.

The tide, hopefully, is changing. I know I’ve kind of tried before but I’ve never been as focused as I am now. I’m not 100% sure what direction I want to go in but I know what direction I don’t want to go in and it’s time to try to sort that out.

Thanks for taking the time to read this….now where’s that mountain?

25

25 years ago Jono, our lovely son, came into the world. The years have passed in the blink of an eye. Jono hasn’t had an easy life, he’s had a lot of illness to deal with and spends a lot of his time laid up and waiting for appointments. He has a great sense of humour, he’s usually always smiling and he’s a pleasure to be around.

I was looking at a family with two young children today and it reminded me of when Jono and Lucy were young. A lot of people told me I was too young to have children but I don’t think there is ever a ‘right’ time.  It’s great because I now have two best friends and if anything sometimes they act older than I do.

So I suppose what I’m trying to say is if you have young children make the most of every minute. It goes quicker than you’ll ever think.

Inspired Rewired

The other week I went for a treatment with Jason from Inspired Rewired. I met Jason at the Social Coffee Mornings and he is a man with an amazing story. He suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome for 11 years and in just two months he turned his life around. He’s now helping others transform their lives too.

Jason tried everything to get himself better, some things helped a bit but there was always a relapse and he ended up exhausted again. He went to London and studied the Phil Parker Lightning Process and is now a licensed practitioner.  He is also a hypnotherapist. I was intrigued by both the lightning process and the hypnosis so I had to go to check it out for myself.

On a sunny Friday morning after a little stroll in Union Wood looking for bluebells I headed over to visit Jason. The birds were singing, the trees were rustling and although I was nervous I felt comfortable.

Jason talked to me first to get some idea of where I was at and what I wanted to focus on. It’s all very individual which I really liked. He explained that we have two sides to our brains the positive and negative. I tend to be fairly positive but I have moments, days, weeks of negativity. You know the whole self-doubt thing and not being worthy. My aim of the consultation was to try to relax, if you know me you’ll be shaking your head.

I’m not going to tell you all about the session because it’s something that you need to experience for yourself but in a nutshell it’s about catching yourself when you start down the negative route. Stopping that thought and making a change to the positive. I like the idea of stopping thoughts and of thinking about a solution. Jason was explaining that if we go for a job interview we might think we aren’t worthy that we aren’t going to get the job and this shows in our body language. When we leave the interview we are convinced we aren’t going to get the job. Instead we should think of what happens when we get a phone call to tell us we have got the job. The sights, sounds, smells that we are experiencing. All the senses are involved so for me it’s a very visual thing. So this was the process Jason took me through for relaxation.

Because I’m curious I was also itching to be hypnotised. One year on holiday in Spain I took part in a fun hypnotism and ended up running a round the room like a chicken shouting at people in Japanese for stealing my belly button….so I had visions of me running around Sligo doing similar! It wasn’t like that. There was no watch swinging backwards and forwards, I didn’t have to look into Jason’s eyes and he wasn’t sitting there stirring his cup of tea – you’ll need to have seen the film Get Out to understand that reference.

I was sitting in a chair with my eyes closed and just listening to Jason’s voice. I could still hear the sounds from outside; the birds, the wind, the dog barking in the distance but I could hear Jason above everything else. It was very relaxing.

When it was all over I went home and collapsed into bed and slept for three hours. Now the sleep is still all over the place but since I saw Jason I’ve really enjoyed just sitting and chatting to people. Although I’m still very busy I find that now when I relax I really enjoy it instead of thinking what I should be doing.

I’m also absolutely buzzing with creative ideas, so many of them that I’ve had to start writing them down and a a few days after I saw Jason I got a phone call that might be the start of the change I need. So watch this space….

Thank you Jason for your time and patience. If you’d like to find more about Inspired Rewired you can visit the website. Great news for people all over the world too as Jason conducts his process via Skype as well as in person.